Recipe for a Writer

Ingredients

1 big fat Greek family

1 middle child

1 cup delusions of grandeur

2 tbsp unabashed sass

1/2 cup emotional ambivalence (substitute with angst to make vegan)

3 cups travel bug

2059 books

1 existential crisis

Directions

Take middle child and age 18 years in isolated New Hampshire woods along with big fat Greek family, delusions of grandeur, unabashed sass, travel bug, and emotional ambivalence. Be sure to ground the middle child heavily between the ages of 13-17. At this time, add in 2059 books to keep said middle child occupied. (Keep it heavy on the magical realism.) You’re almost done—add in a public relations degree, an accidental sales career, a passion for the outdoors, and a general expectation for something more. This should be the base of your existential crisis. Once at its peak, fold in your existential crisis and a pinch of anxiety. Your writer is almost fully baked! Knead their consciousness with a series of mind-expanding adventures. Let rise in wonder, freelance work and journaling. Your writer may never admit it, but they are now, in fact, a writer.